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Every day at the shoot you could hear him arrive Had a Chevy Cavalier... just barely alive Had a speedrail bumper and some broken glass And everybody knew ya better watch your ass... 'round Don. (Big Don, Big Don) Big Bad Don (Big Don) Nobody seemed to care where Don came from He just came to the gigs... like a betamax bum He didn't say much, kinda quiet and shy Crews started wonderin' if he ever got high... Big Don. Somebody said he came from louisville way Said they dug him from the mud by the river one day So they hosed him on down and they threw on some clothes Made him be a fluffer at pornography shows... Big Don (Big Don, Big Don) Big Bad Don (Big Don) Then came that day at the end of a shoot When a lighting truss cracked while the crew snorted toot All the PA's were cryin' and a-shittin' their pants And everyone thought it was their final last dance-'cept Don Through the sparks and the smoke of this tunafish hell Walked a giant of a man that the crew could smell Grabbed a saggin' truss, and let out a fart And like a giant oak tree he just stood there apart-Big Don (Big Don, Big Don) Big Bad Don (Big Don) And with all of his strength he gave a mighty lift Then he shit his pants and he stood there and wiffed And twelve crew scrambled from beneath that truss Associate producer questioned "What's the fuss... with Don?" With a seven foot chain and a bolt and a nut They tied up the lights to a ceiling strut And Don dropped his hands and he said with a smile "Golly pooper candle heavy washy doodoo awhile"-that's Don (Big Don, Big Don) Big Bad Don (Big Don) Now they never did finish that two-bit shoot Not a thing in the can and expenses to boot And they all went home to a husband or wife But Don just stood there for the rest of his life-Big Don (Big Don, Big Don) Big Bad Don (Big Don)