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Locking doors, spotless pores Finding comfort in a total bore The number four, genealogical lore Nothing feels good unless I've felt it before The neighbor's gay, he shouldn't be that way I'm gonna treat him like a person but not today When I'm old and grey, and he's dying of AIDS I'm gonna stop by his bed to remind him to pray Melvin is locking doors He makes everything a chore And he don't really care no more Melvin is locking doors Nervous when my little woman friend Makes me kinda wanna be a man again Don't wanna bend, better to offend But I'll get pissed when she looks at other men Melvin is locking doors And he makes everything a chore And he don't really care Locking doors, salting sores When one wimp winces we'll win this war Show me some gore, man, I'm so hardcore But it doesn't feel good unless I've felt it Nothing feels good unless I've felt it before Melvin is locking doors