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I wouldn't be glad, wouldn't be sad I wouldn't be good if I knew that I couldn't I hate to go but I must you know Duty calls, Niagara Falls See it go down as it falls on the ground And gets up again at the count of ten I would like everyone here to repeat after me Something of which I know nothing about Namely that which I will tell you That which I will tell you I'm going to school, breaking a rule I'm going around in a pitiful frown 'Coz I didn't pass, came Bottom of the class, oh what a shame Teacher was mad, so was me dad Took off his belt and without any help Really hit me hard where I'd stuck a card Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not Always remember the golden rule When in no doubt get a card out And while you're there how about Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills Boy, I really love the sound that they make So good for the pains and aches Of life in general, don't be such a miser At the most a fiver's all you pay Many's the time, I have wondered about what it is Why wouldn't you want to repeat after me? Something I know you know I know Something I know you know I know I wouldn't behold, wouldn't be cold I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my Dear old mum and dad, the fun they had Early one night, dad put out the light Got hold of me mum, said he wanted a son And as you can see, the result was me Somebody told me once Money does not grow on trees Well if that's true then How do you explain Apples, oranges and lemons? Not forgetting melons No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no ...