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Gwar, I bring forth the portal potty Coming to feed on the shit from your bodies Your turds have more power than mere human feces Let's use it's great power to recover the pieces Hey, hey jackass, yeah you You got to love me so good Yeah, yeah, you can depend on me Depending on, if my water's on If my pipe's unlogged Ahh, if you're water-logged, baby I am the hole I am your toilet bowl I'll suck your soul Just pay, just pay my shitty toll, ahh Coated in shit I give all you desire Mystical doorway swimming in mire We'll use the plunger if blockage won't budge It's a door through the plane of fudge So many times I have found you Still I always piss on the ground Now that I can use you I'm gonna stop fucking around If you need shit then I got shit On that you can depend I'll pump your stump You fuckin' hump, my crappy, crap-caked friend The Portal Potty, a gift from the Gods Let's pay it tribute and bury our wads I think we know what it's all about Jiggle the handle and watch something jump out I am a woman and I have my needs. You can never really know just where or when I'll bleed You need my egg, I need your seed But pray at the altar, the toilet must feed Yeah, I'll bring ya some suckers for a killing spree Just keep that fucking tampon away from me Take in this world, it's so beautiful Filthy humans, you're all so full of it That which you can't stand you can't understand Speak the mystic words and bring forth A turd you turn around into it and turn over to me Cross the river, leave the abyss Give the seat of the toilet a kiss Each Virgin sacrifice speaks these magic words Well, jiggle the handle, and call forth a turd Yeah, here it comes, baby, I'm dropping my load I'm ain't just on it, I am the commode, ahh The power of the toilet must never be abused He must be plunged, he must be sponged Or carnage could ensue if a dead sheep had clogged him Who knows what could arrive maybe it will bring The Master here, wouldn't that be a surprise?