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Everybody came to nobody's wedding Everybody knew it was bound to be a hoot What can you do when nothing else is cooking You make your own amusement, bring a pile of loot There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn Who couldnt see where they were heading It was sixteen days and sixteen nights And it werent even nobodys wedding "What a great reception", all the people cried Who stole the groom and who stole the bride How did the countess slide underneath the door Why is the wild boy chopping up the floor? There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn Who couldnt see where they were heading It was sixteen days and sixteen nights And it werent even nobodys wedding I didnt hear the sound of the tin cans rattle I didnt hear a teardrop, I didnt hear a prattle Didnt hear the words of the bible being read When its nobodys wedding, nobodys wed There was Alice the butcher, Tidy and Gunn Who couldnt see where they were heading It was sixteen days and sixteen nights And it werent even nobodys wedding