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He dine and dash me! He chew and screw me! He sip and skip me! What? He no pay for his four scorpion bowl Oh, boy I'm the kinda guy that can't stand the holiday So I drink them all away That's me I don't decorate no trees And I won't eat no potato lakees But I'll give this old ladies melons a squeeze That's just who I am Well, I'll never spin a dreidel But I'll always throw an egg And I'll Charlie horse your leg for laughs While you're singing your holiday tune I'm acting like the town Bafoon Whipping out my big white scary moon And blowing a beef your way I hate folks who think reindeer are cute To me they're just something to shoot I hate love, I hate you, I hate me Well I'm a snowmobile stealing No 'tis the season' feeling Kind of guy (Kind of guy) This time of year sucks So I take my numchucks And make sure every snowman dies Believing in Santa's all wrong And Chanukah's eight days too long I hate love, I hate you, I hate me I hate love, I hate you, I hate me