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Through a long and sleepless night / I thought upon the jury's plightIf what is wrong can feel so right / then life's no longer black andwhiteIt's four o'clock and all's not well / in my private circle of hellI contemplate my navel hair / and slowly slide into despairThis rut has fast become a trench / This smell has turned into thestenchof rotten dreams and stale ideals / The past is snapping at my heelsOh Danny Boy the pipes are blocked / with bedtime blues and future shockI know the best is yet to come / but does it always take this long?I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimesBut I will always be the bridegroom and never the brideYou deserve to be horse-whipped / But I've no horse that joke's so shitAnd whips would only make it worse / don't tempt the lonely and perverseThe casualties of casual sex / The child of three with X-ray specsThe conman low in self-esteem / The Casanova in your dreamsI'll scream and scream and scream until / I've made myself critically illin hospital in case you're there / in uniform, intensive careI know you'll be the death of me / but what a cool death that would beI'd rather die than be deprived / of Wonderbras and thunder thighsI can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimesBut I will always be the bridegroom and never the brideBored of normality? Why not go daft? / It's easy to do if you trySlide right back down that self-confident path / you've just solaboriously climbedPickle your liver and addle your brain / Live the Bohemian lifeDie young and penniless somewhere in Spain / Then again you could tryjust to live your own lifein the way that you find most amusing / I DON'T REALLY CARE!I can put on the perfume, even wear the dress sometimesBut I will always be the bridegroom and I will never be the brideNever be the bride
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