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Those crazy Christians, I was gonna sleep in today But the Church bells woke me up and they're a half a mile away Those crazy Christians dressed up driving down my street get their weekly dose of guilt before they head to Applebee's They pray before they eat and they pray before they snore They pray before a football game and every time they score Every untimely passing, every dear departed soul Is just another good excuse to bake a casserole Those crazy Christians go and jump on some damn plane Fly to Africa or Haiti, risk their lives in Jesus name No they ain't the late night party kind They curse the devils whiskey while they drink the saviors wine A famous TV preacher has a big affair and then one tearful Confession and he's born again, again Someone yells Hallelujah and they shout and clap and sing Its like they can't wait to forgive someone for just about anything Those crazy Christians Instead of being outside on this sunny afternoon By the bedside of a stranger in a cold hospital room And every now and then they meet a poor lost soul like me Whose not quite sure just who or what or how he ought to be They march him down the aisle then the next thing that you know They dunk him the water and here comes another one of those crazy Christians They look to Heaven their whole life And I think what if they're wrong but what if they're right You know it’s funny, much as I’m baffled by it all If I ever really needed help, well you know who I’d call Is those crazy Christians
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