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What's a nine to five office job? That sounds exactly like what I want Young man, that is one party you may not be able to handle Nine to five, nine to five Monday to Friday live Nine to five, nine to five Cubicles and neon lights Nine to five, nine to five Stay till six, get overtime Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking love our lives Wake up in the morning at six Breakfast with the wife and kids Pack yourself a lunch, a ham sandwich A juice box and carrot sticks Cafeteria food is expensive It may not fit into your budget Hop on the bus, public transit Or carpool for the environment Leave early in case there is traffic Bring a news paper or your favourite music John Mayer, Tim McGraw and Styx And Jon Bon Jovi's greatest hits Get to work at eight fifty five Five minutes early, so you have the time To pour yourself a coffee and say 'HiTo your coworkers, "Good morning, guys!" Talk about the shows that were on last night Or a sports event, if you're a guy The boss walks in and says "Look at the time, everybody get to work, it is nine" Nine to five, nine to five Bathroom break at 11:05 Nine to five, nine to five Quality chairs that support the spine Nine to five, nine to five External calls, make sure to press nine Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking love our lives Photo copiers, fax machines And casual Fridays, you get to wear jeans (Yay!) How crazy is that, wearing jeans to work On the tenth of every month wear Hawaiian shirts Hawaiian shirt day, Hawaiian shirt day Who said an office job wasn't a part-e Health insurance, paid sick days Bring baked goods to work on Tuesdays Jill's muffins are always a hit "What's the recipe Jill?" "They're from Costco..." "Still, good choice." "Yeah, good choice, they're nice and squishy." Staplers, keyboards, calculations Work-related conversations "Hey, did you get my work-related email?" "Yes, I got your work-related email." "Your Tron screensaver's really rad." "Thanks, I like your Star Wars mouse pad." "It was a gift from my dentist on my 30th birthday." Clock strikes five, it's the end of the work day Home by six, in bed by ten Wake up and do it all over again Nine to five, nine to five Why do I always feel like crying? Nine to five, nine to five This is not what I dreamt of as a child Nine to five, nine to five Everyday someone commits suicide Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking hate our lives