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It was late at night on Christmas eve i was dreaming of the soft white snow (white snow) i was a woken by a noise near the Christmas tree what it was i did not know it was Santa Claus he was bringing me some gifts unfortunately i did not know that (i didn't know) so i quietly snuk up behind him and i shot him 5 times in the back. it went bao bao bao bao bao he said What the fuck ow ow ow then i shot him 3 more times in the head piece's of his brain flew and he was dead that's when i notice his blood soaked beard and his red suit filled with bullet holes (uh-oh) i said oh my god i killed Santa Claus I'm not going to jail for this asshole(hell no!) so i went to my shed and i got my saw and i started to chop'dy chop chop (chop-ta-chop) i started with his arms then his legs then his head and the torso was a really long job. and the blood went splert splert splert it was really hard work work work it was hard cutting through his spine i must have vomited 16 times.. i burned all the piece's in my fire place the smell of burning human flesh filled my nose(sizzle sizzle) eleven hours later there was nothing left and that's when i heard my telephone it was auntie jean looking for uncle bob she said he left the house dressed as Santa Claus but he didn't come home last nite have you seen him god i hope he's alright.