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When the party hit full swing, I saw you come reeling in
You had that six pack in a stranglehold
Now you stagger, now you sway, why don't you fall the other way?
'Cause I've got something here worth more than gold
I said, Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
They don't mend with sticky tape and glue
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
And that's my very best advice to you
Call me precious, I don't mind, 78's are hard to find
You just can't get the shellac since the war
This one's the Beltona brand, finest label in the land
They don't make 'em like that anymore
I said, Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Unless you wanna wind up black and blue
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
And that's my very best advice to you
Darling, though you're twice my size, I don't mean to patronize
Honey, let me lead you by the hand
Find a lap or find a chair, you can park it anywhere
Just don't rest your cheeks against my man
I said, Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
They don't mend with sticky tape and glue
Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
And that's my very best advice to you
No shindig is half complete without that famous polka beat
That's why they invite me, I suppose
Waltzes, Strathspey's, eightsome reels, now you know how good it feels
Crank that handle babe, away she goes
I said, Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
Unless you wanna wind up black and blue
I said, Don't sit on my Jimmy Shands, don't sit on my Jimmy Shands
And that's my very best advice to you
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