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She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars
A quart of sweet tea, and fried pork skins
Can't get enough, eat still she's stuffed
Goes to the bathroom, then she comes back again
She thinks she looks just like Madonna
When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleached blonde hair
Most times she'll place another order
And Lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Eatin' me outta house and home
Her booty size well it outta be illegal
She has a hard time sittin' on the throne
Hamburgers, hotdogs
Cheese fries and coleslaw
A dozen bear claws
Yum, yum, yum
Loves sausage links, hates diet drinks
Takes up both seats in a two seater car
Her doctor said, "Lay off the bread"
But he didn't say nothing 'bout a Snickers bar
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon
And she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine
Then she'll lay, spread out on the hammock
After she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Folks make fun cause she's overgrown
Her rumps shaped like a Volkswagen Beetle
She gives new meaning to the words big boned
Bagels and cream cheese
Vanilla ice cream
A tub of whip cream
Yum, yum, yum
No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame
Down at Jenny Craig's
When she clean's 'em out at the Waffle house
They'll bring in more ham and eggs
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles
Her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs
It's wide enough to play line backer for the Eagles
Dion Sanders better leave her alone
Tried chicken that steak
Or a fat free milk shake
Enough for God's sake's
Stop the insanity
Weight watchers, yeah
Weight watchers, yeah
Yeah I watched her weight
I watched it go from 117 and a quarter when I married her
To 317 and a half, two and a half years latter
But I still love ya honey
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