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Lard! Lard! Lard! You can see it, in the clouds up in the sky. Lard! Floats by in clusters in our water supply. Lard! It's in all of us, man. Our pores, and in our hair. Lard! What we conceal in those corny clothes we wear. Lard is all. Lard is in control. Lard is divine. We carry credit cards. Lard whips and chains our soul. We live in fear of art. Lard is the Om. Lard is revolution. in the bottle of cheap tequila. Lard is the tapeworm, That comes alive at night, And sneaks up and bite our nipples. Lard. Lard! Nowadays, most of us need someone to run our personal life. Someone to see that the plant are watered. Someone to make sure the place is clean. Someone to make sure dinner is waiting. Some one to make up those cheap excuses. Someone to call for theater tickets. What we need is Lard! Lard! The answer. The ointment. The dancer. The dream. Absorb it. Inflame it. Respect it. Molest it. Lard! Lard! The country, right now, it wants to be soothed. And told it doesn't have to pay, or sacrifice, or learn. No one is over the hill, when the mountain comes to Mohammed. Lard! Lard! Lard! We love to pray. We love to eat. Mold over mind. Hooray! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! Every time I take a crap, it's a cosmic experience. Religion, and chemicals are the keys to the future. Next time that we have sex, just pretend that I'm Ed Meese. The weasels have it down, man. It's a whole new age. Lard! Which would you prefer? A computer, or a gun? The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know. (Feel)The Power of Lard! (Feel)The Power of Lard! (Feel)The Power of Lard! (Feel)The Power of Lard! Poison Oak really is the aphrodisiac of the gods. Pity the poor trainer in the stable when the racehorse farts. When people are asleep, we must all become alarm clocks. Hey, man. Life is my college. EeeeeYOOOowwwwww!! (instrumental break) It's dental floss of the mind. Who will baby sit the baby sitters? Ever hear about the guy in New York, who's dick fell of in the bath after he shot it full of coke? It's okay to run out of butter in Zambia. Just smear squashed caterpillars on your toast. Waiter, there's a terrorist in my soup. Which came first? Max Headroom, or Gerald Ford? Are you a man or are you a mouse? If you love your fun, DIE FOR IT! Die for Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! (continues in background) Who's gonna baby sit the baby sitters?(4x) The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! Avoid Everything(4x) ..Everything(8x) The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! (continues in background) LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD! LARD!
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