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by Kris Kristofferson, Roger McGuinn, Bobby NeuwirthIt started when the neighbors saw my fancy new T.VThat opens up the gate outside my homeAnd let's me let in anyone I really wanna seeAnd keep out all them other dudes I don'tThen one by one they started comin' over to performAnd someone played "Temptation" on kazooNellie got as naked as the day that she was bornAnd it sure was all over Baby BlueChorus:I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-fieldAnd miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fenceBut the biggest show in town is in my drivewayAnd we ain't had a good night sleepin' sinceOrville Baker's showin' us the fastest draw in townCora Lee's clackin' on her spoonsOl' Jesse's trick dog sure does look dead lyin' on the groundAnd Jesse's wife is a-howlin' at the moonCharly's ugly daughter sure can tap danceMable Thatcher's walkin' on her handsAnd just as I was leavin' for the kitchen for a snackOl' Lulla Bell amazed us with her fans Chorus:I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-fieldAnd miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fenceBut the biggest show in town is in my drivewayAnd we ain't had a good night sleepin' sinceFroney's got an act that's hard to followNorman plays a nimble tamborineYou should see what Sara Lee can swallowAnd ol' Billy does a wicked "Mr. Clean"Good Lord, if I'd've known this future when I startedBelieve you me, I'd never change a thingI got a closed circuit circus in my bedroomAnd a world full of whackos in the wingsGet 'em Burt !Chorus:I've got electric eyes, two big dogs, and a mine-fieldAnd miles and miles and miles of barbed-wire fenceBut the biggest show in town is in my drivewayAnd we ain't had a good night's sleepin' since