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Your mother is a lunatic You think you've left the oven on You find out there's no Santa Claus You're doggy can't remember you You want to move up to Vermont You just ran out of underwear Your prescription won't renew You just ran into your ex The handyman was very rude Your landlord just evicted you It's cosy by the fireplace You really have to blow your nose It must, it must, it must go on Arnold says it must go on Children carry through the streets A brilliant painted star Angels gather 'round the hearth Strumming on guitars Men of great renown and faith Say prayers on boulevards It's the night before Christmas But you don't have to be an angel To sing harmony And you don't have to be a child To love the mystery And you don't have to be a wise man On bended knee The heart of this Christmas is in you and me The night before Christmas The night before Christmas If you're heart's been longing And you've been afraid to try Sorrow's kept you company And the dance has passed you by I'll lift you up and blaze with you Across the moonlit sky On the night before Christmas 'Cause you don't have to be an angel To sing in harmony And you don't have to be a child to love the mystery And you don't have to be a wise man On bended knee The heart of this Christmas is in you and me The heart of this Christmas is in you and me The night before Christmas The night before Christmas