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A friend brought me flowers, she said, "They were lilacs" But I've never been good with plants Her next presentation, a new dictionary She'd circled the word "Romance" So enthusiastic, a little bit drastic I shaved her name in my head And as she beheld it, she said, "I misspelled it" Need more be said These apples are delicious "As a matter of fact they are," she said Can all this fruit be free? She wrote me a letter as big as a phone book I've never been big on mail I sent her a postcard from somewhere near lethebridge And wondered if it still went by rail I've never been frightened of being enlightened But some things can go too far Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar You get what my meanings are These apples are delicious "As a matter of fact they are," she said Can all this fruit be free? I'm not tryin' to sing a love song, I'm tryin' to sing in tune I know I am sometimes headstrong Falling in love, catching fire, I wanna be consumed Wondering will I ever tire, will I ever tire, will I ever tire? These apples are delicious "As a matter of fact they are," she said Can all this fruit be free?