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I don't want another fruitcake I don't need another ugly tie, no Heard they had a sale on go karts Down at Wal Mart, ho, ho, a good buy Got no money in my pocket Can't believe it's Christmas time It's the crowds that bug me Stuck in traffic like this It's kids causing a commotion It's shop at your own risk It's that Tickle Me Elmo It's dang unfindable Christ-mas, Christ-mas Unshoppable Christ-mas, Christ-mas It can make a feller uptight I must have been to fifteen stores or more All I wanted was a Lite Brite But they sold out last night, of course Time I buy my kids a swing set I'd be broke forevermore Tis the season of givin' Tis that time of year Twas the night before Christmas Twas a pain in the rear It's the credit card payment It's, ahh, unpayable Christ-mas, Christ-mas Returnable Christ-mas, Christ-mas You'll see Santa hop the rooftops Rudolph's nose will be glowin' so bright There's a whole lot of parents losin' sleep Nothin' silent about this night Oh, Christmas is pure promotion Let us not forget why We're all out shoppin' We're all out buyin' It's the off key caroling Grandma's mistletoe kiss It's that one string of light bulbs You can ever get lit It's that gallon of egg nog It's, uhh, undrinkable Christ-mas, Christ-mas Decorateable Christ-mas, Christ-mas It's the things you buy me, baby It's the things I buy you, darlin', yeah It's the crowds that bug me Stuck in traffic like this It's kids causing a commotion It's shop at your own risk It's that Faith Hill CD They're all sold outable Christ-mas, Christ-mas Beautiful Christ-mas, Christ-mas It's the things you buy me, baby It's the things I buy you, darlin', yeah